Hi everybody
I never blogged before and above all I've never really liked the idea of the blog itself... but here I am!
Searching material for my dissertation I felt I wanted to share some of the things I enjoy with other people. My closest friends are unfortunately geographically far from me. I've amazing pals in London as well.. but the people you grew up with (at least, some of them..) make things easier (and hardest in bad times to be honest!). No explanations, no lies, they know you better. Well, miss it.
Surely a white page of a blog is not the answer but, well, who cares.
That's the story..
I deeply totally truly love my hometown: Rimini. There are many reasons, but mostly it is because it is my town. And Fellini's. Honestly I don't know if I love Rimini because of Fellini, or Fellini because of Rimini. Or simply I adore both so much that all this love became unbearable..
I decided to leave this much loved city very young mostly because of a guy, let's call him N (no reference to the N&N Infinite Playlist, I swear!). He has always been THE ONE for me (he didn't agree with me at the time though.. and he doesn't now either..). So I decided to leave, being too weak to live in the same city of my 'unrequited love'.
Successively.. too stupid to go further. I signed a 1 year contract as teaching assistant in the North of France at the age of 19. Everything was set but a week before leaving I decided to rather move to Bologna and apply at university. The fact is.. the said 'unrequited love' moved to Bologna the week before, and I knew it. I totally lied to myself telling that I went there because I wanted 'an education'. Well, I had one: he still did not give a shit about me! At all. After a couple of months he went back to Rimini leaving university for good. I was stuck in Bologna for at least three more years: I had to finish my BA. Hopefully I loved what I was studying, enjoyed the city of Bologna and met the most amazing friends ever. People hardily understood me before. Above all, my deep interest for arts, music, cinema and knowledge in general. I considered university my job (plus tutoring back in Rimini during weekends) and I worked hard. I was so so busy. My studies and my hobbies overlapped. I was tired but content most of the times. N was always in my mind.. I never gave up. Always hoping, always trying. I had great holidays, happiness and lots of quality time with friends. All that did not lessen my feelings for him. The grief slowly became bittersweet memories.. I tried again. I thought that he grew up. That he could finally love. Apparently he always could.. he never fall for me though.
Then came London. An awesome life full of arts, booze and new friends from around the world. Graduation back in Italy. Parties. Fun. I am still here after 18 months and I still love this city so much. I'm never bored and I feel alive. Also he's always there.. I start to believe that this is never gonna change.
So here we are, I left my loved hometown behind me running away with a broken heart.. and I'm living a life I never would have dreamed of. I still miss Rimini sometimes but I miss more London when I leave it. I decided to celebrated my hometown and to use my previous knowledge about Italian cinema for my studies.
At the moment I'm writing my MA final dissertation on Fellini's Rimini and how it has been recreated in his movies. I was re-reading the book Amarcord - Portrait of a Town by Federico Fellini and Tonino Guerra and I discovered a little poem that apparently inspired the film.
It' s beautiful.. enjoy
A M' ARCORD
Al so, al so, al so,
Che un om a zinquent' ann
L' ha sempra al meni puloidi
E me a li lev do, tri volti a de.
Ma l'e sultent s'a m vaid al
mani sporchi
Che me a m' arcord
Ad quand ch' a s' era burdell.
I REMEMBER
I know, I know, I know,
That when a man is fifty
His hands are always clean.
I wash mine several time a day.
But when I see
my hands are dirty,
It's then that I remember
My boyhood days.
The meaning of this poem is simple and honest. Surely it can be universally understood but the first version, written in my dialect, makes it MINE.
I miss him. I miss him and I miss my Rimini so bad right now.. but a good movie and a chat with my friends will cheer me up soon..
Live your life and be happy.
Luck is just a legend.. work hard, love more and learn!
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